Write a letter of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you or given you cause to despair for the future of the planet and all who dwell here. You do not (necessarily) need to send it. Share it with someone you trust, someone who can bear the weight of your story, your truth, and ask them to bear loving witness without giving you advice. You may also choose to burn it in a ritual fire or cast it into a moving body of water. Consider the possibility that in the ritual act of forgiving you are cutting karmic ties that bind you, clearing the way for your own liberation and the liberation of all beings with whom you come into contact.

Thanks to Mirabai Starr and her book Wild Mercy where I came across this beautiful healing exercise.

Yes, forgiveness has been a pretty strong theme this year. A need to forgive ourselves- absolutely. A need to extend forgiveness toward others too.

I have spent time contemplating forgiveness now that I am 5 years removed from hearing sermons and anecdotes about forgiveness in church, and I have been asking [God] for some inspiration on what to say about it now.

So I wanted to share a beautiful ancient Hawaiian practice called Ho’oponopono, which translates in English meaning to make things right. A friend shared this beautiful word with me early this week and ever since has had me captivated by its meaning. I’ve been working with it all week, adding it into my nightly healing ritual and taking it with me from morning till evening. I have been visualizing healing in my own heart and have been using it as a way to connect to my desire to see that healing energy is brought into some relationships in my life, too. The practice includes repetition of four phrases: I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, and I love you. It is said that just by repeating these four phrases over and over again, heart healing can occur and positive shifts in relationships are possible. I have tried this in tandem with Reiki this week for added benefit by placing my hands over my Heart Center and Sacral Center and imagining the people in my life I wish to extend forgiveness and relational healing to for righting wrongs in either direction.

I used to believe that forgiveness meant letting go, making amends, and restoring the relationship. Now I believe that forgiveness means letting go, making attempt(s) at making amends, and if a relationship is able to be restored then that is a bonus, but it is not a guarantee. What is certain is that there is no return to what a relationship was before amends were needed. I am halfway through my fortieth year of life and I am just beginning to reveal to others some of the wisdom I’ve collected over the first 39 years of my life. I still feel like an infant sometimes – like I know nothing. I think that is a good thing. I don’t pretend like I know when I don’t know anymore. I suppose there has to be a humbling process that goes hand-in-hand with the desire to know wisdom and embody its wildness.

---

Someone I once knew shared this message with me about forgiveness: people, upon rationally determining that they have been unfairly treated, forgive when they willfully abandon resentment and related responses (to which they have a right), and endeavor to respond to the wrongdoer based on the moral principle of beneficence, which may include compassion, unconditional worth, generosity, and moral love (to which the wrongdoer, by nature of the hurtful act or acts, has no right). That someone that I used to know just so happens to be the one I need to forgive. How strange life is in that way. It seems like a coincidence, but it is not. It is like this: for some relationships, they have to go through the ending, the conflict, the impasse, and then the magic begins. During a period of separation, the veils are lifted, clarity sets in, and we just know that the way it happened was meant to teach us something about ourselves and about humanity. We may never have a relationship with them again, but we are confident that something good has happened right there in the midst of something bad that has happened too.

Learning to forgive. Yes, that is what we are doing. We are all learning. We are all infants at this thing, together, just needing to remember that. It makes me think of the song Easy on Me by Adele… Go easy on me, baby / I was still a child / didn’t get the chance to / feel the world around me / I had no time to choose what I chose to do / So, go easy on me.